T         E         A         R         S
it seems like the one thing that the World and all of its inhabitants actually universally share, no mater who we are or how tough or weak we think we are
e    s    p    e    c    i    a    l    l    y
when someone we love dies.          .          .

This past week I was doing a funeral for an elderly man who had no immediate family, but he had cousin-in-laws and their families who came to celebrate his life.

I’ve long believed that the thing about weddings and now funerals, is that the the only thing that’s traditional about either of them, is that there is nothing traditional about either of them anymore.  No two day visitations and the third day a funeral.  A lot of the funerals that I conduct (usually 26 a month) sometimes are months down the road, (like the two I already have scheduled the day after Thanksgiving)

This particular funeral had the person having died three weeks ago, but it was the only time everyone could actually come together because of out of town circumstances.  There were less than 15 people attending, including the 6 children of various ages.

I was tempted to just have us literally circle the chairs and just talk about “George.”  There was no a somber tone to the service especially with the little ones literally running around and just as I finished the short welcome and opening prayer, 2 and 1/2 yr old Xavier comes running over to me, full sprint with arms open wide and jumps up into my arms.  Mind you, I’ve never met this family or this little guy.  There was a gasp from the family and then laughter as he shouted out, “I LOVE YOU!”

My service towards to him as I told him how happy I was that he was there and that I got to meet him.  As he wiggled out of my arms he reached into his pocket and pulled out a mangled band-aid and put it on my shoe
And he before I could thank him, he told me if was for my Boo Boo and then hugged my leg and said, “ALL BETTER”

The reaction was mixed horrified but mostly laughter.  How could you not “Ahhhhh” that?

Before we finished the celebration of “George” Xavier was back in my arms waving at everybody which ended with a loud  B E L C H.          .          .
G       R       I       E       F
comes to us in so many different ways,
NOT  ALWAYS  SAD
In his own way,
Xavier taught us a valuable lesson
that the famous poet, Robert Frost
once tried to share with us long ago
when he said that all he knows about life can be summed up in 3 words:
“IT GOES ON”

When Xavier’s parents and grandparents came up to me following the service, red-faced and apologetic, I thanked them for BRINGING Xavier instead of having him at home or back at the hotel with a babysitter, to prove again, LIFE GOES ON as it does.  He showed us all that we walk around with Boo Boo’s that may not be in need of band-aids so much as hugs that make us feel, “ALL BETTER”

.             .            .on the way home, band-aid still on my shoe, I thought, when’s the last time I BROUGHT that and grateful then and now, that Xavier, my small
Caring Catalyst friend,
D          I          D

SHE MAKES THINGS GROW

All ground is fertile
and she proved it
by taking what had no life
L I V E
She makes my soul her soil 
when she digs deeply
and prunes, sharply 
The ache is more of a yearning
Ahhhhhhhh
than a moaning Owwwwwwl
She makes things grow
out of nothingness
an Everythingness
hardly without notice
but never unnotable 

This is a poem I wrote a little over a week ago.  Its title is the one for my sixth chapbook that I just finished as a result of the SPRING poetry challenge that demanded 15 poems in 10 days that couldn’t exceed 15 lines.  It had a different theme of the day where one or two poems could be written on that given theme.  The theme for this poem on this particular day was EMERGENCE  

S  E  E  D  S
even in the most soiled of hands
have no chance of growing
no matter how warm the wish
or fervent the prayer
b     u     t 
BRING WHAT YOU HAVE
(who you are)
TO WHAT YOU’LL SERVE 
(who you love)
AND WHA-LA
You have a magical garden
S U R P R I S E
There’s no secret to a HAPPY MARRIAGE
I can’t give you the 12 STEPS TO SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS
But showing up each day
with the goal to be a
BETTER ME
for a
BETTER HER
has never failed me
and it has failed me horrifically
WHEN I HAVEN’T BEEN A BETTER ME
or at least not given it a better than
half of a chance.        .         .
OUR BEST TIMES
HAVE BEEN OUR ROUGHEST TIMES
(an ohhhh, there have been some severely rough times)
because soaked, shaken and jostled about
we’ve always ended up stronger, more invincible and
     C      L      O      S      E      R
SHE MAKES THINGS GROW
especially when I’ve given her 
some-not-always-wanted-manure
and yet
that served as some of the richest fertilizer
to some of the
greatest growth
that could never really been imagined
.      .      .only experienced
37 Years ago, 
on June 9, 
the day after we got married
we were laying by the hotel pool we had all to ourselves
talking about the future;
we both assumed we’d never see 50 years together
because of our ages
and then
like now
have never been bothered much by how much time we’ve got
because of the time
WE  HAVE
(and so the message that I usually include in each wedding ceremony
I conduct, is the message we’ve always taken to heart)
.          .        .Marriage is
HARD WORK
but it’s the best job 
you’ll  ever had.          .           .
I may have seemingly had The World to give
but Erin’s always had the grace to
bring me HomeWe’ve been able to show each other
what we could have never seen alone.     .     .

SHE MAKES THINGS GROW
Pssssssssssssssssssssst:
Take it from a Drain
who’s been transformed into a
f      o     u     n     t     a     i     n.  .  .

]]> http://thecaringcatalyst.com/she-makes-things-grow/feed/ 0 5921 http://thecaringcatalyst.com/beyond-relativity/ http://thecaringcatalyst.com/beyond-relativity/#respond Fri, 02 Jun 2023 11:00:48 +0000 http://thecaringcatalyst.com/?p=5912 When Albert Einstein met Charlie Chaplin in 1931, Einstein said, “What I admire most about your art is its universality. You do not say a word, and yet the world understands you.”

“It’s true.” Replied Chaplin, “But your fame is even greater. The world admires you, when no one understands you.”
BEYOND RELATIVITY
is not BEING a Caring Catalyst.          .           .
IT IS MAKING SOMEONE FEEL LIKE
THEY ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF ONE
WITHOUT SAYING A WORD
OR FULLY UNDERSTANDING
HOW YOU CAN MAKE THE HAIR STAND UP ON THEIR ARMS
AND TINGLE LIKE IN NO OTHER WAY
just by how you treat them
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
NEWS FLASH
It
Ain’t
ROCKET SCIENCE
(It can readily be proven but seldom is.     .    .CHANGE THAT!)

DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE
DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR
DO YOU FEEL WHAT I FEEL
DO YOU TASTE WHAT I TASTE
DO YOU SMELL WHAT I SMELL

ALL GOOD QUESTIONS
with even better answers

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

S      E      R      I      O      U      S     L      Y
you better watch out
because what we
s    e    e
isn’t always really what is ever seen.          .          .
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

A few years ago I became a
C L L
.           .           .that’s right,
a real bonafide
CERTIFIED LAUGHTER LEADER
even though
LAUGHING
and attempting to make people
H A P P Y(IER)
has been a life long pursuit of mine.            .          .
enter the infamous JOYOLOGIST
STEVE WILSON and his beautiful bride, Pamela
I attended their WORLD LAUGHTER TOUR

Steve Wilson| Psychologist | The Joyologist | Cheerman of the Bored
Director-National Humor Month
http://www.worldlaughtertour.com
http://www.humormonth.com
http://www.stevewilson.com
http://www.laughterfoundation.org
Skype: s_h_wilson
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/World-Laughter-Tour/57984062492
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevehwilson
Twitter: (@joyologist)
Phone: 614-855-4733
Blog: http://www.laughterandhumor.blogspot.com

and it was literally
LIFE CHANGING.          .          .
I have had the privilege/pleasure of actually hosting several LAUGHTER SESSIONS and have shared some of those techniques in several of the presentations I do and believe me, no pun intended.          .          .
THIS IS NO FUNNY BUSINESS,
in fact the one simple-start-using-it-at-this-very-second-give-a-away
IS FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT.         .          .
That’s right, even fake laughing for a mere 15-30 seconds gives you all of the health benefits of actually laughing as if you were watching your favorite comedy or having a laughfest with your friends.          .          .
In fact, SMILING has the same kind of benefits, especially when you feel the least like cracking a smile.          .          .
and yet even FAKE SMILING  opens wide those big Carotid arteries that supply the head and neck with oxygenated blood and instantly changes your mood and demeanor.        .       .
FUNNY BUSINESS

This past Sunday, Steve DIRECT MESSAGED me the image below

It made me take a look at a pile of books I had in a corner section of the library I have in my basement and WHAAAAAAA-LAAAAAAAA I found this

Lord Is a Whisper at Midnight https://a.co/d/bW9xGyH

book that I hadn’t opened in a while but slid in a chair on a rainy afternoon and let it READ ME as much as I pursued it.          .          .
FUNNY BUSINESS

I was COLOR BLINDED no more and the smiles weren’t fake

THANK YOU, STEVE WILSON
for HOW-TO
that made the WANT-TO
feel kind of
F  U  N  N  Y
naturally.          .          .

Time Magazine’s Markham Heid recently came out with a great article that’s been written in more ways than one in recent years. It’s not just simply about the benefits of a couple of “ho-ho-ho’s” or even some well placed, “Ha-ha-ha’s” But it’s a great affirmation of what you knew, knew that you knew and probably would bet your lift that you knew, but for the life of you didn’t always act like you knew. . .

L A U G H T E R

It may not be the best medicine. But laughter’s great for you, and it may even compare to a proper diet and exercise when it comes to keeping you healthy and disease free.

That’s according to Dr. Lee Berk, an associate professor at Loma Linda University in California who has spent nearly three decades studying the ways the aftershocks of a good laugh ripple through your brain and body.

Berk says your mind, hormone system and immune system are constantly communicating with one another in ways that impact everything from your mood to your ability to fend off sickness and disease. Take grief: “Grief induces stress hormones, which suppress your immune function, which can lead to sickness,” he says. Hardly a week goes by without new research tying stress to another major ailment.

Why mention stress? “Because laughter appears to cause all the reciprocal, or opposite, effects of stress,” Berk explains. He says laughter shuts down the release of stress hormones like cortisol. It also triggers the production of feel-good neurochemicals like dopamine, which have all kinds of calming, anti-anxiety benefits. Think of laughter as the yin to stress’s yang.

Thanks largely to these stress-squashing powers, laughter has been linked to health benefits ranging from lower levels of inflammation to improved blood flow, Berk says. Some research from Western Kentucky University has also tied good chuckle to greater numbers and activity of ‘killer cells,’ which your immune system deploys to attack disease. “Many of these same things also happen when you sleep right, eat right, and exercise,” Berk says, which is why he lumps laughter in with more traditional healthy lifestyle activities.

Berk has even shown that laughter causes a change in the way your brain’s many neurons communicate with one another. Specifically, laughter seems to induce, “gamma” frequencies–the type of brain waves observed among experienced mediators. These gamma waves improve the “synchronization” of your neuronal activity, which bolsters recall and memory, Berk says.

How does laughter accomplish all this? That’s where things get murky, says Dr Robert Provine, a neuroscientist at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County and author of Curious Behavior: Yawning, Laughing, Hiccuping, and Beyond

Provide calls himself a “reserved optimist” when it comes to laughter’s health-bolstering properties. “One of the challenges of studying laughter is that there are so many things that trigger it,” Provine explains. For example, you’re 30 times more likely to laugh around other people than when you are by yourself, he says. Social relationships and companionship have been tied to numerous health benefits. And so the social component of laughter may play a big part in its healthful attributes, Provine adds.

Here’s why that matters: If you’re going to tell people they should laugh to improve their health, there may be a big difference between guffawing on your own without provocation, watching a funny YouTube clip or meeting up with friends who make you laugh, Provine says.

“That doesn’t mean the benefits weren’t real,” he adds. “But it may not be accurate to credit laughter alone with all of these superpowers.”he says.

But even for the researchers like Provine who aren’t ready–at least not yet–to coronate laughter as a panacea, he doesn’t dispute the benefits associated with hearty har har. He only questions science’s current understanding of the underlying mechanisms.

“When we laugh, we’re in a happy place,” he says. “That’s always a good thing.”

A couple of years ago I attended The Worldwide Laughter Tour workshop and actually became a Certified Laugh Leader under the direction of Dr. Steve Wilson, a true JOYOLOGIST. I think that was one single event that SHOWED me the great benefits of Laughter
EVEN WHEN IT’S FAKE

Because what I find humorous or absolutely funny
YOU MIGHT NOT
but you still get the benefits when you
FAKE LAUGH
for even up to 60-95 seconds
which is why we learned and taught
LAUGH EXERCISES

Since that time
I’ve taught and led several
LAUGH SESSIONS. . .

WHO KNEW. . .

The World can change
ONE LAUGH
ONE GIGGLE
ONE HAAAAAA
ONE SMILE
at at time. . .

and it can begin
n o w
with you

A great Caring Catalyst
is a
LAUGHING
HAPPY
Caring Catalyst

You Asked: Is Eating Dessert Really That Bad For Me? Bad news for sweet-eaters—except if you end your meals with this kind of treat.” width=”30″ height=”19″/>

You Asked: Are Cleanses Healthy? Potions that claim to clear your body of toxins might sound alluring, but do they deliver?” width=”30″ height=”19″/>

You Asked: What’s the Best Way to Whiten My Teeth? Yes, teeth whitening actually works—but here’s why you have to dish out major bucks to see results.” width=”30″ height=”19″/>

You Asked: Is Meditation Really Worth It? From easing stress to lowering heart disease risk, focusing your mind can do some amazing things for your body.” width=”30″ height=”19″/>

You Asked: What’s the Healthiest Sweetener? Take a taste of the unsettled science of sweeteners.” width=”30″ height=”19″/>

Illustration by Peter Oumanski for TIMEBY MARKHAM HEID  NOVEMBER 19, 2014

You Asked: Should I Go Paleo? The pros and cons of eating like a caveman.”/>

You Asked: Is Cracking Your Knuckles Bad? Here’s what really happens to your joints when you snap, crackle and pop.”/>

You Asked: Is Running on a Treadmill as Good as Running Outside? You’ll fool your body into thinking it’s outside with this one small treadmill tweak.”/>

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next1 of 10

You Asked: Are Cleanses Healthy? Potions that claim to clear your body of toxins might sound alluring, but do they deliver? Illustration by Peter Oumanski for TIME

Thanks largely to these stress-quashing powers, laughter has been linked to health benefits ranging from lower levels of inflammation to improved blood flow, Berk says. Some research from Western Kentucky University has also tied a good chuckle to greater numbers and activity of “killer cells,” which your immune system deploys to attack disease. “Many of these same things also happen when you sleep right, eat right, and exercise,” Berk says, which is why he lumps laughter in with more traditional healthy lifestyle activities.

Berk has even shown that laughter causes a change in the way your brain’s many neurons communicate with one another. Specifically, laughter seems to induce “gamma” frequencies—the type of brain waves observed among experienced meditators. These gamma waves improve the “synchronization” of your neuronal activity, which bolsters recall and memory, Berk says.

How does laughter accomplish all this? That’s where things get murky, says Dr. Robert Provine, a neuroscientist at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County and author of Curious Behavior: Yawning, Laughing, Hiccupping, and Beyond.

Provine calls himself a “reserved optimist” when it comes to laughter’s health-bolstering properties. “One of the challenges of studying laughter is that there are so many things that trigger it,” Provine explains. For example, you’re 30 times more likely to laugh around other people than when you are by yourself, he says. Social relationships and companionship have been tied to numerous health benefits. And so the social component of laughter may play a big part in its healthful attributes, Provine adds.

Here’s why that matters: If you’re going to tell people they should laugh to improve their health, there may be a big difference between guffawing on your own without provocation, watching a funny YouTube clip or meeting up with friends who make you laugh, Provine says.

“That doesn’t mean the benefits aren’t real,” he adds. “But it may not be accurate to credit laughter alone with all these superpowers.”

But even for researchers like Provine who aren’t ready—at least not yet—to coronate laughter as a panacea, he doesn’t dispute the benefits associated with a hearty har har. He only questions science’s current understanding of the underlying mechanisms.

“When we laugh, we’re in a happy place,” he says. “That’s always a good thing.”

When’s the last time you’ve Laughed?

When’s the last time you’ve

L        A        U        G        H        E        D

like a

k      i      d ?

Two much different questions, huh?

Picasso once said,

“EVERY   CHILD   IS   AN   ARTIST,

THE   PROBLEM  IS  HOW  TO  REMAIN  AN  ARTIST  ONCE  WE  GROW  UP.”

Did you just grow up

this morning?

Did you just grow up

this year?

Did you just grow up

more pages of a calendar

than you can begin

to count?

DID  YOU.     .     .

have  you

grown up?

If we all had a

L A U G H     M E T E R

on

would yours have broken from

OVER

UNDER

use?

L A U G H T E R

decreases stress hormones and increase immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.

L A U G H T E R

triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals.  Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.            .             .             

Go ahead.          .          .

G O O G L E :

THE     BENEFITS     OF     LAUGHTER

if you have an hour

if you have a day

if you have a week

if you have a month

if you have a year

if you have a life

if you have but just a mere

m     o     m     e     n     t

So when’s the last time you

laughed like a kid?

Maybe that’s not the question

at all.      .      .

Maybe the real question;

the only question

is when is the

N E X T     T I M E ?

How about now.          .          .

and then how about

again and again and again

a n d      again      and      again      a     n     d.          .          .s     o.          .          .D E C I D E       O  F  T  E  N

THEY TALK.

A group of men who seem to meet the same time at McDonald’s every morning. Sometimes there are more of them, some times a little less, but there always seems to be a Core of 3-4 of the same men.

THEY TALK.

These group of men with their Senior .50 cups of coffee…

THEY TALK.

These group of men with their ball caps and their un-matching jackets…

THEY TALK.

These group of men discuss current events, sports, grandkids, children who are losing jobs or moving away or back in, getting up four or five times in the middle of the night, social security checks, V A benefits, wives who are and were, cars, gas prices, death, funerals. . .

THEY TALK.

These group of men don’t seem to have cell phones or if they do, they are the old flip phones that can’t or won’t text…

THEY TALK.

These group of men never Text, Google, Tweet, Face Time, Facebook, YouTube or Email…

THEY TALK.

THEY TALK to any who pause or not-so-remotely pay attention.

THEY TALK.

These group of men always say hello before I speak or acknowledge them…

THEY TALK.

These group of men seem to do what so few of us have forgotten to do…just to do:

THEY TALK.

THEY Listen.

THEY Smile.

THEY Laugh.

THEY Connect.

THEY Communicate.

THEY TALK….