It’s true.         .          .
You may never get an Answer
if you don’t ask a Question
but it’s just as true
that sometimes the best Answers
require no Questions.          .          .

BUT DOES IT REALLY.          .          .          ?
There are so many things in life that takes us from
FORT KNOX SECURE
to I’m afraid of my own shadow
I N S E C U R E
.           .           .just how can you tell
HOW SECURE YOU ARE.        .       .        ?

Harvard-trained psychologist:

If you use any of these 9 phrases

every day,

‘you’re more emotionally secure

than most’

Why Mattering Is So Important 

to our Mental Health.       .     .

New research on “anti-mattering” and

overcoming loneliness.

I recently read this article from Psychology Today by Susan Krauss Whitborne, Ph.D and reviewed by Abigail Fagan that has me thinking about what Matters about Mattering.     .     .

There may be times that you’d like to feel invisible, but for the most part, people like to feel that other people notice and care about them. If you’ve ever walked into a social gathering and waited five minutes for someone to greet you, then you know how painful it is to feel like you’re blending into the background. Alternatively, consider the agony you can suffer when you’ve sent a text to a friend, only to have it sit there “delivered,” but unanswered.

When you stop and think about it, though, why should you care so much about whether people notice you or not? After all, the people who know you might be busy and preoccupied with other things. It shouldn’t make a difference, either, whether people who don’t know you acknowledge your presence. And, in reality, aren’t there those times when you’d be just as happy to get in and out of someplace without having to stop and talk to anyone?

In positive psychology, the quality of “mattering” is considered, in the words of York University’s Gordon Flett and colleagues (2022) to be “a key psychological resource.” Although you might occasionally enjoy the cloak of invisibility, Flett et al. propose that feeling chronically insignificant can become a “meta-pathology” that can interfere with the ability to obtain “optimal health and well-being.”

The best things aren’t THINGS

and the Best Priests aren’t Priests at all.          .           .

I wasn’t looking for it Wednesday night

but IT

found me

and quite a few others, I imagine.          .         .

Here’s hoping that this little blog post will do its part

in helping it find countless others who are not

actively seeking

and finding treasure

just the same.          .          .

Like so many these past couple of weeks, I’ve been captivated by the NOW SUCCESSFUL rescue efforts of the daring divers who saved 12 soccer boys and their coach from a flooded cave.          .          .

I wasn’t there

I assisted no one

I offered no extended hand

Gave no money

but

I prayed;

sent up humble well meaning good intentions

along with countless others

and like those countless others

felt deep relief

felt a warm gratitude;

f                e                l                t

but Dr. Dieter summed it up better than any CNN, Fox News Reporter and certainly much better than my meager blog post when he wrote in his Face Book post on Wednesday night, July 10, 2018:

People of different nations, differing faith traditions, different “military forces”…all PRAYING to their version of God…working together, despite differences, to risk their lives and spend time and treasure to do GOOD…
The mission leaders today acknowledging that they expected failure, the odds were too great…
BUT…the forecasted rains did not come…the pump that kept much of the water out of the caves did not fail until the last of the heroes were out of danger…
The one life lost, I suspect, felt honored as a Seal to give his life for his comrades and the lives of 12 boys and their brave coach…he did not have to take a life to save lives…
Prayer. Trust. Community.

Dr. Kevin Dieter is an awesome Hospice doctor who is more Pastoral and Priestly than I will ever fully be as a Hospice chaplain of nearly a quarter of a century and counting.  Kevin, like so many Housekeeping, Home Health Aids, Nurses, Nurse Practitioners, Social Workers, Expressive Therapists, Bereavement Coordinators do a much better job at my job than I do, mostly because it’s not expected or suspected of them; they do more than I can or will ever do mostly because they are in places and better still, AT  THE  PLACES in the lives of those THEY  SERVE than I will ever be;

THEIR’S is a sacred work without Vestments, Testaments, Hymnals, Rosaries, Liturgies, Incense or Anointing Oils.    .      .

THEIR’S is a healing potion of magical PRESENCE that they produce merely by just SHOWING UP (and not leaving even when they are not physically present)

THEIR’S is a Holy Work that seeks not and often finds no renumeration, special thanks or much recognition

THEIR’S is a Country without borders you already reside but seldom recognize

THEIR’S is a Sanctuary without walls where all are welcomed and better,

h                    e                    a                    l                    e                    d

and   I

like so many, many innumerable others

am a humble beneficiary

m  e  n  d  e  d

by their kindness

r e m e d i e d

by their compassion

r e s t o r e d

by their empathy

enough to recognize that

this blessed beggar

is inspired to not only show

but bring other petitioners

T   H   A   T

same healing presence

LET    THIS    BE    YOUR    ORDINATION    DAY

for   a   world   that seeks your

w a r m h e a r t e d n e s s

G    I     V     E

T   H   E    M

THEIR    EXPERIENCE
(o  f  t  e  n)

If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.  I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.  I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.  I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.  I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.  I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.  I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.  I would have cried and laughed less while watching television – and more while watching life.  I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.  I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.  I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.  Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.  When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”  There would have been more “I love you’s”.. More “I’m sorry”.   .   .But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute.   .   . look at it and really see it.  .  .live it.   .   .and never give it back.
© Erma Bombeck

Classic post, huh?

I am quickly coming up

on yet another Hospice Anniversary.          .          .

I began my Hospice career on October 31, 1994

which has literally been a entire lifetime ago.           .          .

I had two daughters that were 15 and one who was 13

and even harder to believe a 6 year old daughter and a four year old son;

We didn’t have the Internet per se

We didn’t have Smart phones

We didn’t have the pharmaceuticals

We didn’t have the technology

We didn’t have the therapies

We didn’t have the interventions

We didn’t have the supports

we have on this new world of

N          O          W

People died then

as they do today.         .        .

Death hasn’t been eradicated

and though we have new ways to prolong and temporarily escape it

it’s still an unseen death on each of our

C           A           L           E           N           D           A           R           S

I found out early on then

what’s impossible for me to ever forget:

PEOPLE  DIE  BUT  OUR  LOVE  DOESN’T

DEATH  TAKES  A  PERSON,  BUT  NEVER  A  RELATIONSHIP

and that one day

my heart will no longer beat

my lungs won’t inhale/exhale

my pulse will be absent

.          .          .and I will have said

what I have said on countless other’s behalves:

TO THE LIVING I AM GONE
TO THE SORROWFUL I WILL NEVER RETURN
TO THE ANGRY I WAS CHEATED
TO THE HAPPY I AM AT PEACE
TO THE FAITHFUL I HAVE NEVER LEFT
I  CAN’T  BE  SEEN  BUT  I  CAN  STILL  HEAR
I  CAN’T  SPEAK  BUT  I  CAN  STILL  LISTEN
SO  AS  STAND  ON  A  SHORE  LOOKING  AT  THE  SEA
OR  THE  BEAUTY  OF  A  FLOWER
REMEMBER  ME,
THE  TIMES  WE’VE  FOUGHT
THE  TIMES  WE’VE  CRIED
THE  TIMES  WE’VE  LAUGHED
THE  TIMES  WE’VE  LOVED
FOR  IF  YOU  ALWAYS  THINK  OF  ME
I  WILL  HAVE  NEVER  GONE.     .     .

So maybe the biggest question that looms in front of each of us isn’t

Not what will I do on the Day I die.          .          .

so much as

What will I do the day I KNOW I will DIE

.          .          .CLASS  IS  IN  SESSION

and YOU WILL HAVE TO RESPOND

already knowing,

NO RESPONSE

is a RESPONSE.          .          .

The Bad News:

YOU     ARE     GOING     TO     DIE

the Good News:

M A K E     S U R E     Y O U R     B U C K E T   HAS    A    H O L E     I N     I T

If I had my life to live over.     .     .

Y               O               U

have the chance to fill in the blank

.            .            .no written exam available