It’s true.         .          .
You may never get an Answer
if you don’t ask a Question
but it’s just as true
that sometimes the best Answers
require no Questions.          .          .

Why Mattering Is So Important 

to our Mental Health.       .     .

New research on “anti-mattering” and

overcoming loneliness.

I recently read this article from Psychology Today by Susan Krauss Whitborne, Ph.D and reviewed by Abigail Fagan that has me thinking about what Matters about Mattering.     .     .

There may be times that you’d like to feel invisible, but for the most part, people like to feel that other people notice and care about them. If you’ve ever walked into a social gathering and waited five minutes for someone to greet you, then you know how painful it is to feel like you’re blending into the background. Alternatively, consider the agony you can suffer when you’ve sent a text to a friend, only to have it sit there “delivered,” but unanswered.

When you stop and think about it, though, why should you care so much about whether people notice you or not? After all, the people who know you might be busy and preoccupied with other things. It shouldn’t make a difference, either, whether people who don’t know you acknowledge your presence. And, in reality, aren’t there those times when you’d be just as happy to get in and out of someplace without having to stop and talk to anyone?

In positive psychology, the quality of “mattering” is considered, in the words of York University’s Gordon Flett and colleagues (2022) to be “a key psychological resource.” Although you might occasionally enjoy the cloak of invisibility, Flett et al. propose that feeling chronically insignificant can become a “meta-pathology” that can interfere with the ability to obtain “optimal health and well-being.”

Q                  U                  I                  C                  K:

What were you worried about three years ago today.          .          .

What did you get for your 12th Birthday.          .          .

Who was your Four Grade Teacher.          .          .

What did you get for Christmas in 1986.          .          .

WHAT   DOES  IT   MATTER.            .            .            .?

What do you want to be doing in 9 years.          .          .\

IF you had a $1000 and could only spend it on yourself, what would you buy.     .     .

Out of all of the ways to die, what’s your most feared.          .          .

What will you be doing, where will you be living when you retire.       .       .

W   H   A   T       D   O   E   S       I   T       M   A   T   T   E   R

N          O          W  ?

Absolutely

there’s comings

there’s goings

and then there’s

T H E     P R E S E N T

and what makes it so Precious:

I T’ S    Y O U R S 

Y O U R S    O N L Y.     .     .O       N       L       Y             Y       O       U       R       S

don’t be like so many

and literally leave it

U               N               O               P               E               N               E               D

n               o               w

Ever get a little Cuckoo?

I did once–back in 1986–for Christmas, actually.      .      .

It was a gift—-R E A L L Y !

Just married,

6 months before

to blend a woman, a man,

her daughter and his two into a brand new family.       .       .

He was a member of First Christian Church there on E. Beau Street in Washington, PA. where I was an Associate Minister at the time.        .        .

I forget his name, Last and First.        .        .

I barely can remember what he looks like.         .         .

in fact, don’t send the Police Sketch Artist over

unless he can just draw,

“Balding    and    elderly    with    wire    rim    glasses.”

.         .         .but his gift.         .         .

I Remember.         .        .

He thought it would be a nice gift

–Christmas or not–

for our newly formed family,

with the girls and all.       .       .

So for the annual Rummage Sale, this

Forgotten REMEMBERED Gift-Giver

saw us all eyeing up a Cuckoo Clock–

his and, though it was in fact his donation to the cause,

he actually bought it for us.         .         .

thought it the right thing to do.          .          .

FOR    SURE,   IT    WAS    A    KIND    GESTURE.        .        .

U      N     F      O      R      G      O      T      T      E      N

.       .       .and it gets even better.       .       .

He came over and installed it

T     H     A     N    K    F    U   L   L   Y

Because I’m lucky to put together a few stumbled words that make any sense let alone a   Cuckoo   Clock   that   was   in   a
s h o e b o x–s i z e 1 0–m e n’ s.        .        .

He came over and under all of our watchful eyes,

not only assembled it piece by piece

but hung it on the wall and showed us how to carefully pull down the weights

and presto with one gentle push of the pendulum

it began ticking and tocking in a most comforting way.     .     .

We could all hardly wait and then.        .        .

and then it happened it hit 6:00

and that Cuckoo came out for the very first time.        .        .

we witnessed it with wonder and awe.        .        .

It seemed to be that way every time we heard it,

day,

night

or middle of the night until.       .       .

UNTIL we moved.         .         .

We moved to Bay Village, OH

early next Summer, to a new Church,

Westlake Christian Church

and set up our home.         .        .

but the Cuckoo Clock didn’t fare so well;

It made the trip just fine.           .           .

it was carefully packed and unpacked.          .          .

It was the HANGING.          .          .

I didn’t know the Cuckoo had actually been Tried and Convicted.        .        .

but the  HANGING  was a brutal, unmerciful

ACT      OF      DESTRUCTION

The Cuckoo never appeared again.          .         .

Oh, yeah,

the Clock was hung up on the wall,

several actually,

but it didn’t work right again.        .        .

I don’t think I got that

SOME    ASSEMBLY    REQUIRED

part   right.        .        .

The Cuckoo found an unsightly burial on a garage heap early one

Tuesday morning.          .          .

never to be heard of again.          .          .

never to make an hourly appearance.          .         .

h      i      s

T  I  M  E

i  s

O    U    T

I’ve loved Watches all of my life–

Thanks, Pap.        .        .

His      I L L U M I N A T E D      at   night.

I’ve    always    been    about

T     I     M     E

MAKING    IT
WASTING    IT
SEARCHING    FOR    IT
SAVORING    IT
SAVING    IT

but it does

G   O

one tick-tock at a time.        .          .

some faster.        .        .

some slower.         .         .

some unnoticed.          .          .

some forgettable.           .          .

some unfathomable.        .       .
some unimaginably memorable.        .         .

some.         .         .

APPLE

just came out with another new Watch;

I didn’t buy it,

I don’t think I will.       .       .

The Cuckoo taught this Dodo a very valuable lesson.           .           .

still    is ;

No     Watch,
No     Clock,
No     Timepiece,
No     Woman,
No     Man,
No     Child,
N   O        M   A   T   T   E   R

will ever give me any more time.       .       .

And, and that’s,

that is OK.       .       .

I have all the Time there is,

w     a    s

and will be.        .       .

T I C K

T O C K

T I C K

T O C K

C U C K O O
C U C K O O
C U C K O O
C U C K O O
C U C K O O
C U C K O O
C U C K O O
C U C K O O
C U C K O O
C U C K O O
C U C K O O
cuckoo