HOW’S YOUR HAPPINESS THERMOMETER.          .          .

Is    it    R I S I N G

Is    it    F A L L I N G

Is    it

S             T             U             C             K

By many accounts, Americans are living in contentious times. Yet they report being happier in 2017 than they were in 2016, according the 2017 Harris Poll Survey of American Happiness, shared exclusively with TIME MAGAZINE

That’s not to say that Americans are especially happy overall; only 33% of Americans surveyed said they were happy. In 2016, just 31% of Americans reported the same.

The Harris Poll, which has been conducting a happiness survey for the last nine years, surveyed 2,202 Americans ages 18 and older in May 2017. The survey was not designed to measure why Americans are or are not happy, but John Gerzema, CEO of the Harris Poll, has some ideas.

“It’s really interesting that Americans’ overall happiness went up from last year—a year of alt-facts, mean tweets and robots coming for our jobs,” Gerzema says. “Either people are becoming immune to the news, or there’s a promise of change for so many Americans that felt alienated.”

The people who reported being the happiest were men and women in high-income households and those with a high school diploma or less. Republicans and Democrats experienced similar increases in happiness levels (but Republicans tend to report higher happiness levels overall, Gerzema says).

Overall, men reported a greater increase in happiness levels compared to women, though they were more likely to say they were frustrated at work. Millennials were the most likely to say they were optimistic about their future: 79% said they were. However, 77% said they worried about finances, and slightly more than half said they were frustrated with their career. Despite the back and forth over health care changes, 53% of Americans surveyed said they rarely worry about their health, up from 48% in 2016.

Some of the biggest changes were in how people felt about their spiritual lives. In the survey, 71% of Americans said their spiritual beliefs were a positive guiding force to them, compared to 66% in 2016. Americans also say they feel close to their relatives; 86% said they have positive relationships with their family members. “One hypothesis is that we are trying to control what we can,” says Gerzema. “Maybe we are turning off cable news and turning back into our families and communities and faith.”

Americans have never been the happiest bunch, Gerzema says. In the nine-year history of the happiness poll, the highest happiness index was 35% in 2008 and 2009.

Distraction and a lack of control may be part of the reason why only about a third of Americans say they are happy, Gerzema says. Close to 40% of Americans said in 2017 that they rarely engage in hobbies and pastimes they enjoy, and 75% said that “my voice is not heard in national decisions that affect me.”

“To me, it feels like a cultural lack of presence,” says Gerzema. “We are so caught up in our texting, multitasking, jobs and commutes that we seem to have less and less free time. Older people age 65+ are the happiest.”

Despite the happiness gap, the majority of Americans remain hopeful, and 72% say they feel optimistic about the future. “We are not that happy, but perhaps that’s ok,” says Gerzema. “Optimism, but not necessarily happiness, seems to be part of the American psyche. Perhaps we wear it like a coat of arms.”

S   O.          .          .

ARE    YOU    H A P P Y

Are      you      happy?

If you were to fit into a survey right now

would you be on the upside of being happy

or on the low side of being happy?

What’s

YOUR    HAPPINESS    THERMOMETER    READING

 Are you happy with your life

Are you happy with your job

Are you happy with your family

Are you happy with your self

There will always be questions when we talk about happiness

because by the way that the world takes look at us we’re not all that happy

or does the world actually have it wrong.          .          .

 Right now

at this very moment what makes you the happiest in your life.        .        .

not what do you dream of that would make you happy

W          H          A          T

ARE  YOU

Happiest with right now in your life.          .          .

Could that get better

Could that get worse

Could that actually be shared.          .          .

Are you responsible just for your own happiness

Of the happiness of others

ARE   YOU   RIGHT   NOW

H               A               P               P              Y

with this machine gun kind of questioning.           .             .

Well something tells me

it won’t be a pill

 intervention

 therapy

voodoo

or  a  particular  kind  of  psychic  surgery.          .          .

It  certainly won’t be prime time days

 it’ll be something in yourself

from yourself

maybe a recognition

maybe a throwing away

of all that could lead to your happiness

and ultimately

the happiness of those around you.          .          .

O R        N O T.           .          .

YOU      TELL      ME!

G            U            I            L            T            Y

You ever feel that

F    E     E     L     I     N     G.        .        .

Sometimes I feel so guilty

I need no

J u d g e

J u r y

E x e c u t i o n e r

I’m most perfect at all three

s i m u l t a n e o u s l y.              .              .

Do you believe

not once

but hundreds of times

I have actually stood before groups

and  proudly declared:

There’s no one better than the ONE

standing before you right now;

NO ONE

who could give a better presentation that

M     E.          .          .

I would say:

“I  BELIEVE  THAT  WITH  ALL  OF  MY  HEART!”

.          .          .”but,”

“I    K N O W    IT’S  NOT  TRUE,

and that’s what makes you work to be even better.          .          .”

G          U          I          L          T          Y

M  E  N     S  U  C  K

Maybe it’s because

I’m the biggest hypocrite I know

Maybe it’s because

I’ve been married and divorced

Maybe it’s because

I’ve been re-married now for 31+ years

Maybe it’s because

I’ve worked since 1994 in offices filled with women

but I’ve either

heard

seen

lived

experienced:

M  E  N     S  U  C  K

I get that an awful lot.     .     .

and yes.         .         .

the last time I checked,

I still kind of fit into that category

which has had me

putting my lips together very tightly

while opening my ears

Grand Canyon

w     i     d     e     l     y.            .            .

The gift of an Open Ear

is the most valuable possession I can share.     .     .

And I try

not just to listen

I severely attempt to actually

h          e          a          r

what a heart shouts

and a mouth can’t whisper.          .          .

“Well, he  left  me; he  just  up  and  left  me  after  8  years”

“How  come  he  doesn’t  listen, why  doesn’t  he  hear  what  I  say, or  worse yet, if  he  does  hear  why  doesn’t  he  acknowledge  me?”

“Why  is  it  always  about  sex; why  does  it  always  start  there  or  always  have  something  done  to  end  there; why  can’t  we  talk, really  talk  and  listen and  be  intimate  but  cuddling  or  just  holding  hands  without  it  always ending  up  THERE; don’t  men  know  that  the  greatest  sex  act  is  just  being held, being  heard, being  listened  to?”

“Why’s  the  bottom  line  always  about  how  much  things  cost  and  how  he decides  how  money  gets  spent  or  saved?”

“Why  am  I  never  good  enough  for  him; why  does  he  feel  the  need  to change  me  or  at  least  live  a  certain  lifestyle  OR  ELSE?”

“I  can’t  stand  all  of  the  lying.”

“He  never  really  tells  me  how  he  feels  and  I’m  a  terrible  mind-reader.”

T  R  U  S  T       M  E

What I have to offer

IS    N  O  T

a d v i c e;

I am no Guru

I’m not a

Dr. Phil

Judge Judy

Joel Olsteen

Best-Selling Author on relationships.          .          .

I offer

simply.          .          .merely

what’s in each of us:

My Ears

My,  o u r  Ability

to Listen.          .          .

But are ears are useless

unless they’re actually attached to

our hearts.          .          .

There has to be a willingness

to not just listen

to not just hear

.        .        .but a heart

that lets Another know

they’ve been

Acknowledged

Recognized

Noticed

Accepted

Un-Judged

L          O            V            E            D

It’s about letting Another

not so much know

but actually FEEL:

Right now

Your Pain

is My Pain

Your Disappointment

Is My Disappointment

Your Tears

are My Tears

Your Heart

is My Heart

and they are

S        H        A        R         E        D

never to be again

carried alone.          .          .

when   T H A T   is mutual

The Caring Catalyst

of me interweaves itself into

The Caring Catalyst of you

and WE

become a magnificent tapestry of colors

The brightest and darkest of hues

that SHOUTS

WE  NO  LONGER  ARE  HOLDING  ON  BY  A  THREAD

or a thick-never-to-be-severed-cable

but a tapestry

that serves a most magnificent safety net.          .          .

I remember a story that Henri Nouwen once told about the trapeze artists known as

THE  FLYING  RODLEIGHS

.        .        .he asked one of flyers the secret of trapeze artists

and one of the acrobats explained:

“The  secret  is  that  the  flyer  does  nothing  and  the  catcher  does everything.  When  I  fly  to  Joe (my catcher), I  have  simply  to  stretch  out  my arms  and  hands  and  wait  for  him  to  catch  me  and  pull  me  safely  over  the apron.     .     .The  worst  thing  a  flyer  can  do  is  try  to  catch  the  catcher.  I am  not  suppose  to  catch  Joe.  It’s  Joe’s  job  to  catch  me.  If  I  grabbed Joe’s  wrists, I  might  break  them, or  he  might  break  mine, and  that  would be  the  end  for  the  both  of  us.  A  flyer  must  fly, and  a  catcher  must  catch, and  the  flyer  must  trust, with  outstretched  arms, that  his  catcher  will  be there  for  him.”

M E N     S U C K

She said.     .     .

They said.     .     .

Yes.   .   .Yes, it’s true:

M   E   N      S   U   C   K

(and sometimes, others, too)

We all have the great capacity

to do just that sometimes

and actually make the worst

of the worst.       .       .

B          U          T

We have a great propensity

to be A Catcher

of One flying dangerously through the air

and bringing them not only to safety

but to an assurance

that can’t be found anywhere else than

through the intimacy

of a pure relationship .         .          .

Be That

B E       T   H   A   T

O f t e n

Now

And always

Every Next Time

A V A I L A B L E.       .       .

Your   P R E S E N C E

doesn’t require your advice

just your  v a l i d a t i o n.       .        .

G           U           I           L           T           Y

I  feel   IT

from  time  to  time

for not understanding

but hopefully never because of the lack of

WANTING  TO