The Caring Catalyst http://thecaringcatalyst.com Who Cares - What Matters Wed, 02 Aug 2023 00:25:19 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.2.2 52309807 WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY MIGHT NOT http://thecaringcatalyst.com/what-makes-you-happy-might-not/ http://thecaringcatalyst.com/what-makes-you-happy-might-not/#respond Wed, 02 Aug 2023 11:00:20 +0000 http://thecaringcatalyst.com/?p=5988

Surprising Things You Think Are Making You Happy—But Are Doing the Opposite

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Angela Haupt from Greater Good Magazine recently did a deep dive on HAPPINESS…what we think it is and maybe.   .   .what it’s really not.      .      .Fat salaries and corporate success aren’t the gateways to happiness they’re cracked up to be. But it makes sense that we might think they are. “We’re fed such an incredibly dense diet of popular media and marketing that shapes our understanding of happiness in a way that actually gets in the way of it,” says Emiliana Simon-Thomas, science director at the University of California at Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. “I think we as a society, particularly in the West, have a bit of an illusion about where happiness comes from and how to get more of it.”

Researchers have long sought to sort fact from fiction when it comes to pinpointing what increases happiness. Here are six surprising things we often think are making us happy—but that might actually be doing the opposite.

Dodging your negative emotions

Being happy is a lofty goal. Squashing negative emotions like anger, fear, and resentment is surely a step in the right direction, right?

It turns out the opposite is true—and experts say that’s the No. 1 thing most people get wrong about the pursuit of happiness. “We have the mistaken idea that a happy, meaningful life means feeling good all the time and avoiding our negative emotions,” says Laurie Santos, a cognitive scientist and professor of psychology at Yale University. “But the evidence suggests that suppressing our negative emotions can be a recipe for making those emotions worse.”

Research has concluded that suppressing negative emotions is a “barrier to good health.” One study suggests bottling up emotions like frustration or disgust can make people more aggressive; another indicates that the habit can lead to lower social support and fewer close relationships. Additional researchhas linked suppressing emotions to an increased risk of early death from any cause.

It’s much healthier to reframe how we think about happiness, Simon-Thomas says, and to accept that it includes the full spectrum of emotions. Remind yourself that when you’re scrolling past beaming faces on social media, you’re only seeing part of the story, and it’s not possible or healthy for anyone to constantly be happy.

Once we redefine what happiness means, “there’s a way to relate to our unpleasant emotions that’s more restorative—more growth- and learning-oriented,” Simon-Thomas notes. It’s important to practice self-compassion, and to recognize that when we feel bad, the answer isn’t to stifle those emotions or berate ourselves. “Rather, we need to understand what they’re for,” she says. Practicing mindfulness can help some people figure out how to acknowledge and cope with difficult emotions in a healthy way, as can a specific framework called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT. The approach helps teach people to accept their inner emotions instead of avoiding them.

Living in a city

Some of the great American cultural icons—from Frank Sinatra to Jay-Z—have waxed poetic about life in metropolitan areas like New York. But waking up in a city that never sleeps isn’t necessarily good for inner peace.

Research has found that urban living often translates to stress, anxiety, and plain old unhappiness. According to one study, people who resided in cities were 21% more likely than those in rural areas to experience an anxiety disorder, and 39% more likely to have a mood disorder like major depression. In another study, those based in areas with lots of road noise were 25% more likely to report depression symptoms than people living in quiet neighborhoods. (One potential reason: Noise can interrupt sleep, which is a crucial component of mental health.) Research has linked simply being in the presence of high-rise buildings to worse moods and feelings of powerlessness.

One reason why cities have these impacts is that our brains are only wired to live in social groups of about 150 people, says Colin Ellard, a neuroscientist at Canada’s University of Waterloo, who studies how natural and built places affect emotion and physiology. Of course, most places have a bigger population than that—but in a smaller town, you won’t pass all of them on the street during your morning commute. “Once the size of our group exceeds that, we’re basically in a situation where we’re living among strangers, and that is cognitively and emotionally taxing,” he says. Feeling crowded in a high-density area can, for example, lead to higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Plus, “people struggle mentally in situations where they don’t feel in control over their circumstances,” which is common in cities—there’s nothing you can do to get the taxis to stop honking or to clear a crowded sidewalk.

Fortunately, if you’re a city-dweller and plan to remain one, there are ways to protect your mental health. Even brief exposures to natural areas like urban parks can help, Ellard says, as can trading a bus commute for a walk or bike ride. And investing in black-out curtains and a white-noise machine can help improve sleep quality in loud, bright neighborhoods.

Having tons of free time

Researchers have long known that having enough discretionary time is crucial for wellbeing—but it turns out that having too much free time may be almost as bad as having too little.

According to a study published in 2021 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, wellbeing increases in correlation with free time, but only to a certain extent. The benefits level off after about two hours, and decline around five hours of free time per day. “What we found is that if you have a lot of discretionary time, you’re not necessarily happier, and in some cases, you’re actually less happy,” says study author Marissa Sharif, an assistant professor of marketing at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. “The reason for that is you don’t feel like you’re productive anymore, and you feel like you lack purpose and meaning.”

Still, how you spend your free time matters. When people with more than five hours spent it with others—or felt like they were passing it in a productive, meaningful way—they didn’t experience a drop in well-being. Some of the activities that helped participants feel like they were optimizing their time included exercising, participating in group activities, and pursuing a hobby like gardening or studying a new language. Scrolling through social media or using the computer, on the other hand, made people feel less happy about how they’d spent their free time.

“If you do happen to have lots of time, just think consciously about how you’re spending it,” Sharif says. “Think about how to use that time in a way that makes you feel like you have meaning, or purpose, or like you’re productive.”

Chasing success

From the time we’re little kids, many of us are taught that if we work hard, we’ll land the perfect, high-paying job, get a flashy promotion (and then another), and live happily ever after. It’s the American Dream.

But experts say checking off those accomplishments won’t actually make you happier—at least not for long. The false notion that achieving success will lead to long-lasting happiness is called the arrival fallacy, says Tal Ben-Shahar, co-founder of the online Happiness Studies Academy. “Most people believe that if you win the lottery or get that raise or promotion, or win a tournament, then you’ll be all set,” he notes. “This actually leads millions—if not billions—of people on the path to unhappiness. Because at best, what success does is lead to a temporary spike in our levels of wellbeing, not to lasting happiness.”

Almost as soon as we achieve one goal, we often become fixated on the next, ending up trapped in an endless cycle of not appreciating what we have. Plus, success frequently translates to more stress and less time for things we care about, like our families. In one classic study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, professors who had either received or been denied tenure were asked to rate their happiness, and both groups had similar scores. (That’s despite significant career differences, including higher pay and job security.) When assistant professors who weren’t yet eligible for tenure were asked how achieving such a milestone would affect them, they tended to overestimate how happy the change would make them.

Discovering the fleeting nature of happiness following a big accomplishment can feel like a letdown. But there are ways to stretch out the positive feelings success initially brings, says Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California Riverside and author of books including The Myths of Happiness. For example, if you change jobs, aim to keep feelings of novelty alive by seeking out new challenges and opportunities: “Meeting new people, learning new things—if we’re able to do that,” we’ll fend off feelings of staleness, she says. So sign up for an online course in some new skill you’d like to explore, and schedule networking coffees with colleagues you don’t know very well yet. Doing so may lift your spirits and invigorate you.

Anonymity

It’s natural to want to blend in some of the time: to keep our heads down, avert eye contact, and mind our own business. But the pursuit of anonymity isn’t doing us any favors, says John Helliwell, one of the founding editors of the World Happiness Report, a publication of the Sustainable Development Solutions Network, a nonprofit launched by the United Nations.

He references an experiment in which participants were asked what might happen if they lost a wallet with $200 in it. How likely did they think it was that a police officer, neighbor, local clerk, or stranger would return it? People who believed they lived in an environment in which someone would return their wallet were much happier than those who didn’t think they’d get it back. “We found it was really important for people to feel that they live in a society where other people care about them,” Helliwell says. “If you believe that other people will return your wallet, you’re more likely to return their wallets—and you’re likely to feel happier because these are the people who watch out for your kids when they’re walking to school, who tell you to ‘watch out’ if you’re about to run into a curb.”

To foster this sense of community belonging, Helliwell issues a few challenges. The next time you’re walking down the street, think to yourself: “These are all people who would return my wallet if I dropped it,” and offer them a smile instead of quickly looking away. Or start a conversation. “Turn your next elevator ride from a place to read your mail, or to look at the elevator inspection certificate, into an opportunity to say hello to someone,” he says. “Because it’s that connection that’s going to make both of you happy.”

Buying fancy things

Money and happiness have a complicated relationship. Earning a decent salary does improve how happy you are—but only to a certain point. Researchsuggests that Americans tend to feel happier in correlation with the amount of money they make up to about $75,000 a year per person (and $105,000 per yearin more expensive North American areas); after that, emotional well-being levels off.

But exactly how we spend our money can also impact happiness, says Michael Norton, a professor at Harvard Business School and co-author of the book Happy Money. Research suggests that buying stuff—designer clothing, shiny new cars, the latest gadgets—doesn’t make us happy. Rather, as people become more materialistic, their well-being plummets.

People who spend money on experiences instead of material things, however, tend to enjoy greater happiness. That’s likely because fun activities facilitate social connection and can be appreciated for what they are, not compared to someone else’s experiences (which isn’t the case with consumer goods). Experiences don’t need to be big vacations, either: “Going out for lunch with a friend instead of buying yourself some [trivial] thing” counts too, Norton says.

Spending money on others rather than on yourself can also improve happiness, Norton’s research indicates. “Giving really does pay off more than spending on yourself,” he says. “And it’s not like you have to do a billion-dollar foundation.” Only have $5 to give? “That day is going to be a happier day.”

HERE IS TO HAPPINESS.         .         .
WHAT IT IS
WHAT IT ISN’T
WHAT WE THINK
WHAT WE CAN’T IMAGINE.       .        .

]]> http://thecaringcatalyst.com/what-makes-you-happy-might-not/feed/ 0 5988 THE KINDNESS COST http://thecaringcatalyst.com/the-kindness-cost/ http://thecaringcatalyst.com/the-kindness-cost/#respond Fri, 07 Jul 2023 11:00:30 +0000 http://thecaringcatalyst.com/?p=5960

A Lady asked an old street vendor: “How much do you sell your eggs for?” The old man replied“0.50¢ an egg, madam.” The Lady responded, “I’ll take 6 eggs for $2.00 or I’m leaving.” The old salesman replied, “Buy them at the price you want, Madam. This is a good start for me because I haven’t sold a single egg today and I need this to live.”

main-qimg-75fc9c51507193f830419e1ac42592d1.jpeg

She bought her eggs at a bargain price and left with the feeling that she had won. She got into her fancy car and went to a fancy restaurant with her friend. She and her friend ordered what they wanted. They ate a little and left a lot of what they had asked for. So they paid the bill, which was $150. The ladies gave $200 and told the fancy restaurant owner to keep the change as a tip.

This story might seem quite normal to the owner of the fancy restaurant, but very unfair to the egg seller. The question it raises is;

Why do we always need to show that we have power when we buy from the needy?

And why are we generous to those who don’t even need our generosity?

I once read somewhere that a father used to buy goods from poor people at a high price, even though he didn’t need the things. Sometimes he paid more for them. His children were amazed. One day they asked him “why are you doing this dad?” The father replied: “It’s charity wrapped in dignity.”

Being A Caring Catalyst won’t cost you anything but it’ll make you richer than any lottery winning. Invest in what compounds by one kind moment to the next one and it’ll no longer be about mere facts and figures, because it’ll figure much more than any known fact.      .      .     .
MAKE SURE YOUR CUP OF KINDNESS
IS ALWAYS FULL ENOUGH 
FOR ANOTHER GULP
SO THAT OTHERS
MAY DRINK DEEPLY
WITH A QUENCHING
THAT’LL NEVER KNOW
ANY OTHER THIRST.          .          .

]]> http://thecaringcatalyst.com/the-kindness-cost/feed/ 0 5960 MUCH-NESS (Continued) http://thecaringcatalyst.com/much-ness-continued/ http://thecaringcatalyst.com/much-ness-continued/#respond Fri, 23 Jun 2023 11:00:54 +0000 http://thecaringcatalyst.com/?p=5944

John D. Rockefeller, the founder of the Standard Oil Company, the first billionaire of the United States of America and once the richest man on Earth was asked by a reporter, “How much money is enough?” He calmly replied, “Just a little bit more”

Is John D. right?  Is JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE, really enough or is there ever an ENOUGH-NESS that’ll satisfy.          .          .When Rockefeller was asked this question he had a net worth of about 1% of the entire US economy.  He owned 90% of all the oil and gas industry of his time.  Compared to today’s rich guys, Rockefeller makes Bill Gates, Jeff Besos, Elon Musk and Warren Buffet look like paupers; and yet he wanted
“JUST A LITTLE MORE.”

Maybe before we can know how much is ENOUGH, we’ve got to define
E         N         O         U         G          H
.          .          .and dare consider
ENOUGH
is more than just an amount
(but also an attitude)
MUCH-NESS

HOW MUCH
is never a question
to be Asked
yet is always Answered
HOW MUCH
isn’t found in an
Enough-ness
Much-ness
is daring to Give
a More-ness
than you can expect
to ever receive in a
Getting-ness
MUCH-NESS
is when a
Giving-ness
means so much more
than a piddle Getting-ness
MUCH-NESS
takes on an unimaginable hue
that can’t be found
on a painter’s palate
but always at the end
of your Soul’s brush
waiting to paint anew
the landscape scene
that completes us all
as it becomes a
Giving-ness
eclipsing the horizon of any
Getting-nesses  

.           .          .S O M E T I M E S
the shiny empty plate
waiting to be
SHARED
more than
PASSED
is all the
ENOUGH-NESS
necessary
I  F
it’s indeed more than a
passing partaking.        .      .
May your ENOUGH-NESS be Another’s as well.          .           .

]]> http://thecaringcatalyst.com/much-ness-continued/feed/ 0 5944 JUST BEING THANKFUL http://thecaringcatalyst.com/just-being-thankful/ http://thecaringcatalyst.com/just-being-thankful/#respond Mon, 24 Apr 2023 11:00:08 +0000 http://thecaringcatalyst.com/?p=5874

DO YOU KNOW THE GREATEST THING ABOUT BEING THANKFUL.     .     .     ?
YOU DON’T HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THANKSGIVING TO BE
T          H          A         N          K        F          U          L
.            .            .SO WHAT ARE YOU
WAITING FOR?

Things I’m Thankful For By JJ Heller, David Heller and Melanie Penn

Morning light Starry nights There’s so much good in the world Happy songs Sing along These are the things I’m thankful for

Skipping stones Feeling known The click of my key in the door Summer rain On window panes These are the things I’m thankful for I would know just what to say if you asked me What my favorite is Of all of the wonder in all of the world You’re at the top of my list

Holding hands Weekend plans And finding out what love is for Open spaces Fireplaces These are the things I’m thankful for

I would know just what to say if you asked me What my favorite is Of all of the wonder in all of the world You’re at the top of my list

It’s how you keep Showing me Everything that I missed before But I see ‘em now Too many to count All of the things I’m thankful for These are the things I’m thankful for

]]> http://thecaringcatalyst.com/just-being-thankful/feed/ 0 5874 THANKSGIVING SONG http://thecaringcatalyst.com/thanksgiving-song/ http://thecaringcatalyst.com/thanksgiving-song/#comments Mon, 21 Nov 2022 12:00:00 +0000 http://thecaringcatalyst.com/?p=4802

I F
T H A N K S G I V I N G
WAS A SONG
.      .      .It might sound a little like this one
from Ben Rector
with the strong realization
that we’ll all be singing
quite a different song
this Thursday
but
WE WILL BE SINGING
nonetheless
h e n c e
THANKSGIVING
differences and all. . .
N                 O                W
THIS  YEAR:

]]> http://thecaringcatalyst.com/thanksgiving-song/feed/ 2 4802 LABORED DAYS http://thecaringcatalyst.com/labored-days/ http://thecaringcatalyst.com/labored-days/#respond Fri, 09 Sep 2022 11:00:00 +0000 http://thecaringcatalyst.com/?p=5640

Muhammad Mashali was a doctor who treated Egypt’s poorest citizens completely free of charge for 50 years.

Mashali passed away in 2020 at the age of 76.
He spent 12 hours a day in the clinic and received 30-50 patients a day. Not only did a line of people form in front of his ambulance every day, people would approach him on the street and he would give them medical advice. Dr. Muhammad Mashali never had a car or even a telephone. He walked from home to work.

When a rich man heard about his story, he gave him $20,000, a car and an apartment. But a year later, when his benefactor returned to Egypt, he learned that the doctor had sold his car to help poor patients and bought new medical equipment.

When Muhammad Mashali graduated from Cairo Medical School in 1967, he explained why he wanted to sacrifice himself for the good of others:
“My father sacrificed his life so that I could become a doctor. Then I promised God that I would not take a penny from the poor and live a life of service to people of all cultures and religions.”

BUT LABOR DAY WAS THIS PAST MONDAY.           .          .
or may be
it’s today
or any day
you wake up
to be
A Caring Catalyst
NOT AGAIN.          .          .
but
O            N            C            E

M               O               R               E.        .        .


MAKE YOUR JOB
SOMEONE’S PLEASURE.        .        .

]]> http://thecaringcatalyst.com/labored-days/feed/ 0 5640 TUDE IT UP http://thecaringcatalyst.com/tude-it-up/ http://thecaringcatalyst.com/tude-it-up/#respond Wed, 05 May 2021 11:00:00 +0000 http://thecaringcatalyst.com/?p=5069

It’s more than a turkey dinner and a huge slice of pumpkin pie on the last Thursday of November
T H A N K S G I V I N G
It’s more than the words
GRATIS and GRATONITE
between the word
G R A T I T U D E
in the Dictionary. . .
it’s the TUDE of all TUDES

Can Gratitude Help You Live More Sustainably
makes it all the more
T U D I E R

A new study suggests that when people give thanks, they’re less likely to overdraw from shared resources.

 ELIZABETH SVOBODA, is a writer in San Jose, CA and regular contributor to the GREATER GOOD MAGAZINE and the author of WHAT MAKES A HERO? THE SURPRISING SCIENCE OF SELFLESSNESS, pulls back the curtain of GRATITUDE and lets us know that it’s much more than a word or a feeling. . .

Among the first visual symbols of the COVID-19 pandemic were grocery store shelves picked clean by shoppers hoarding pasta and toilet paper. The bare shelves revealed a deeply ingrained human tendency—to grasp for all that’s left when supplies run low. 

As climate change puts a strain on crop yields and drinking water stores, these kinds of feeding frenzies could become the new normal. But they’re not inevitable: New research from Northeastern University suggests that when people feel grateful for what they have, they’re less likely to overdraw from a shrinking pool of resources. The study “provides initial evidence that gratitude is useful in nudging sustainable behavior,” says graduate student Shanyu Kates, the paper’s first author. 

Kates’s findings suggest that practicing gratitude could curb our collective tendency to take more than our share, says psychologist Scott Allison of the University of Richmond. 

“Gratitude led to less greedy and more generous choices,” says Allison, who was not involved in the research. “What’s really impressive is how the investigators were able to demonstrate that it was gratitude itself, not the happiness that results from gratitude, which produces more prosocial [kind and helpful] behavior.”

A depleted commons

Sustainable-living promoters tend to run up against what ecologist Garrett Hardin called the “tragedy of the commons”: People hoard resources to ensure they can meet their own needs, but the resulting scarcity takes a toll on everyone’s well-being. (TOILET PAPER, ANYONE)

Kates and her advisor, Northeastern social psychologist David DeSteno, wanted to explore possible ways to forestall this kind of tragedy. In one study, they recruited 155 undergraduate students and induced gratitude in one group by having them write about a time when they felt grateful. The remaining control-group students wrote about events from a typical day. 

After this writing exercise, all the participants took part in a game where they decided how many resource points to extract from a collective bank. The game started with a common pool of 200 points. “For each round of the game, we tell them, ‘You can take out a certain amount of points—between zero and 10—and whatever is taken out goes to you,’” Kates says.

To make sure people valued the points, experimenters told the students that the more points they extracted, the more likely they were to win a $200 cash prize. Throughout the game, participants could see how many points other players had taken and how many points were left. After each round was played, the researchers boosted the point bank by 10% to mimic the regeneration of real-life resources. 

When Kates and DeSteno tallied the results, a significant difference emerged between the gratitude group and the control group. Control participants took significantly more points from the pool when they saw it draining rapidly. Grateful participants, however, took about the same number of points no matter how quickly the pool was shrinking.

In a second, related study, Kates and DeSteno divided 224 participants into three groups. One wrote about gratitude and another about a happy time in their lives. The control group wrote about their daily routine. 

Just as in the first study, the gratitude group refrained from overdrawing resources in the game even when they were draining quickly. Feeling happy, however, didn’t inspire people to show the same kind of restraint. 

“If you’re in a neutral or a happy state, you increase your point taking when the pool is depleting,” Kates says. “But for gratitude, this effect becomes erased. It doesn’t matter if others around you are over-taking and the pool is depleting—you won’t over-take [from the pool] yourself.”

The sustaining power of gratitude

Kates and DeSteno’s study didn’t specifically address why grateful people may be more apt to behave sustainably than those who simply feel good. But past research, Kates points out, suggests that happiness sometimes drives us to become more self-centered as we seek out situations that promise even more happiness. 

“When you’re feeling happy, you might not want to sacrifice by taking less and conserving for the group,” Kates says. Picture a rat at a sugar-water dispenser—once it’s had a taste of uncomplicated sweetness, it returns to that same dispenser over and over. 

Gratitude, on the other hand, has promoted both well-being and social awareness in multiple experiments. In a University of California–Riverside study where high school students spent 10 minutes a week writing letters of gratitude to friends, coaches, and other influential people, they reported feeling more satisfied with their lives and more connected to others around them than members of a control group. 

That sense of connectedness could help inspire generous or sustainable action. In a meta-analysis reviewing 91 studies, researchers at the U.K.’s University of Nottingham found a strong relationship between gratitude and prosocial behavior of different kinds. 

“Sustainability really requires action for future benefit as well as collective benefit,” Kates says. “Gratitude promotes these dimensions—it makes us behave more prosocially, and it makes us more cooperative with others.”

Something akin to the reciprocity principle may also be at work: When someone gives something to you, you naturally feel compelled to give something back. In the same way, when people feel grateful for good fortune or for contributions others have made to their lives, they may be more likely to take a “pay it forward” approach and look for ways to contribute to the common good. 

Future interventions

The observed connection between gratitude and sustainable behavior means that gratitude exercises could potentially help keep the planet livable over the long term. “If we are fortunate enough to live in a part of the world that offers us clean, drinkable water, let’s be grateful each time we use it,” Allison says. “With the desertification of the western U.S., this simple practice of gratitude on a mass level may forestall disaster.”

However, Kates says, more research needs to be done to clarify which aspects of gratitude might promote sustainable behavior and why. She is planning a new study that examines how individual players’ behavior during the resource game affects the behavior of others around them. “Does a group of grateful people fare better in the game than those where none of them are grateful? And what happens if only one person in the group is feeling grateful? Is that enough to shift others’ behaviors?”

If grateful people turn out to set a behavioral lead for others to follow, a group might ultimately reach a sustainable “immunity threshold,” so to speak: a new social norm that encourages judicious resource use even in members who aren’t naturally inclined to care about such things.

“It’s promising to think about and measure how cultivating long-term gratitude through daily practice may be useful in this battle against climate change,” Kates says, “and be able to be the tipping point for large-scale behavioral changes.”

It’s the TUDE of all TUDE’s
. . .unless it’s not;
The Difference?
Y O U

Uhhhhhhh, Now for that piece of Pie. . .

]]> http://thecaringcatalyst.com/tude-it-up/feed/ 0 5069 Too Soon? http://thecaringcatalyst.com/too-soon/ http://thecaringcatalyst.com/too-soon/#respond Mon, 16 Nov 2020 12:00:00 +0000 http://thecaringcatalyst.com/?p=4797

Practicing gratitude
implementing it in our lives
is a major part in realizing the good we have already,
like right now
Y E S
even NOW
2020
(that NOW)
in the middle of a pandemic crisis
and yet to even say
WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE
of anything
is more than a fair chance
to make
TO BE
A Difference. . .
A real game changer. . .

Here we are once again
(BUT REALLY BRAND NEW THIS YEAR)
getting to have a
THANKSGIVING
we’ve never quite experienced this year
in just 10 days. . .
Sure,
all of the fixings might be there
but our Thanksgiving Tables are
(no doubt)
going to look
going to feel
going to be
d i F f e R E n T
which really begs the question:
TOO SOON. . . ?

Is it ever too early
Too Soon
to be thankful. . . ?
Is there ever a time not to be grateful. . . ?
What tips the scales on your gratitude meter
and just when
. . .just when
was the last time that you tipped
Another’s scales?
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst. . .
Please tell me
I don’t have to give you
THE ANSWER. . .

]]> http://thecaringcatalyst.com/too-soon/feed/ 0 4797 GRATITUDE’S PRESENT(S) http://thecaringcatalyst.com/gratitudes-presents/ http://thecaringcatalyst.com/gratitudes-presents/#comments Wed, 21 Nov 2018 12:00:06 +0000 http://thecaringcatalyst.com/?p=3751

Getty Images

It’s   just   a   feeling,   right?

G           R           A           T           I           T           U           D           E.          .          .

dressed   up   like
T H A N K F U L N E S S
and   masquerading   as
A  P  P  R  E  C  I  A  T  I  V  E 
TIME  MAGAZINE’S, Jamie Ducharme recently reported just how exactly rich and enriching it is being GRATEFUL.            .             .
Now is the season to think about what makes you most thankful, especially since it’s
T H A N K S G I V I N G      E V E
but research supports making it a year-round habit. Many studies have found there are benefits of gratitude — both mental and physical — and all it takes to enjoy them is a little bit of introspection.

Here   are   some   surprising   benefits   of   practicing   gratitude:

Gratitude  can  make  you  more  patient

Research from Northeastern University has found that people who felt grateful for little, everyday things were more patient and better able to make sensible decisions, compared to those who didn’t feel very gracious on a day-to-day basis. When 105 undergraduate students were asked to choose between receiving a small amount of money immediately or a larger sum at some point in the future, for example, the students who had shown more gratitude in earlier experiments were able to hold out for more cash.

Gratitude  might  improve  your  relationship

According to a study in the Journal of Theoretical Social Psychology, feeling grateful toward your partner — and vice versa — can improve numerous aspects of your relationship, including feelings of connectedness and overall satisfaction as a couple. “Having a partner that’s grateful for you or you being grateful for the other” can both help your love life, says Emma Seppälä, a happiness researcher at Stanford and Yale Universities and author of The Happiness Track. (Seppälä wasn’t involved with the research.)

Gratitude  improves  self-care

In a study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, researchers asked people to rate their levels of gratitude, physical health and psychological health, as well as how likely they were to do wellbeing-boosting behaviors like exercise, healthy eating and going to the doctor. They found positive correlations between gratitude and each of these behaviors, suggesting that giving thanks helps people appreciate and care for their bodies.

Gratitude  can  help  you  sleep

“Count blessings, not sheep,” Seppälä says. Research in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research has found that feeling grateful helps people sleep better and longer. That’s likely because “you have more positive thoughts before you go to sleep,” says Seppälä (who wasn’t involved in the study), which may soothe the nervous system. If you’re going to make a daily gratitude list, Seppälä recommends writing it before bed.

Gratitude  may  stop  you  from  overeating

“Gratitude replenishes willpower,” says Susan Peirce Thompson, a cognitive scientist who specializes in the psychology of eating. The concept is similar to the Northeastern research that found a connection between gratitude and patience: Thompson says cultivating feelings of gratitude can boost your impulse control, helping you slow down and make better decisions. If you find yourself taking slice after slice of pumpkin pie, for example, Thompson recommends excusing yourself from the table to jot down a quick list of things you’re grateful for, which can help you clear your mind and reset.Gratitude can help ease depression

Thompson, the cognitive scientist, says experiments have shown that people whole partake in the “three good things” exercise — which, as the name suggests, prompts people to think of three good moments or things that happened that day — see considerable improvements in depression and overall happiness, sometimes in as little as a couple weeks. “If there were a drug that did that, whoever patented that drug would be rich,” Thompson says. “Gratitude is very powerful.”

Gratitude  gives  you  happiness  that  lasts

Lots of things, from a compliment to a sugary treat, can bring little bursts of happiness. But instant gratification also goes away quickly, Seppälä explains, which leaves you craving more. “Gratitude is something that leads to much more sustainable forms of happiness, because it’s not based in that immediate gratification; it’s a frame of mind,” she says. If you regularly take time to express gratitude and thankfulness, you’re likely to see results.

TAKEAWAY:

Gratitude

isn’t a thing
a day
a season
a feeling
a situation
a ripple that merely becomes a harmless wave
.          .          .it’s  what’s  caused  in  us
that we can cause in another
an endless billow that just doesn’t reach shores

B U T         R  O  C  K  S         B  O  A  T  S

 

]]> http://thecaringcatalyst.com/gratitudes-presents/feed/ 2 3751 The Last Brownie http://thecaringcatalyst.com/the-last-brownie/ http://thecaringcatalyst.com/the-last-brownie/#comments Mon, 19 Nov 2018 12:00:27 +0000 http://thecaringcatalyst.com/?p=2082  

Well.     .     .

Would   you.       .       .

C  O  U  L  D     Y O U

win the  LAST  BROWNIE ?

I love this clip from Notting Hill

courtesy from Wing Clips

at the beginning of the week of

T        H        A        N        K        S        G        I        V        I        N        G

It’s an amazing scene, isn’t it?

Each guest sitting around the table trying to vie

for the last-very-much-wanted-Brownie

by telling their own personal tale of woe–

the very saddest of which

w     i     n     s

The Brownie.          .          .

So what’s    Y  O  U  R     Story.      .      .      ?

Would  you  focus  on

your  lack  of  income

your  lack  of  good  looks

your lack of incredible health

your lack of physical mobility or skills

your lack of a great relationship

your lack of professional standing

your lack of awareness of just how good you actually do

H     A     V     E          I     T  ?

Even  on  a  Thanksgiving  Week

it’s  sad  isn’t  it,

that so much of our lives are consumed with thinking

about what we Lack in LIFE

than all of the things we have overwhelming been blessed?

S          O         M         E         T         I         M         E         S

it actually takes a traumatic experience

or at least

a  severely  rugged  turn  of  events

to  make  the  mundane  blessings

we  usually  take  for  granted.     .     .

e      x      t      r      a      o      r      d      i      n      a      r      y

Like the familiar old adage:

YOU   NEVER   KNOW  WHAT   YOU’VE  GOT,  TILL  IT’S  GONE

So here’s the ultimate

T H A N K S G I V I N G    D A R E :

Turn   in

Y  O  U  R        B  R  O  W  N  I  E.       .       .

turn    it    in

for the Pumpkin Pie—

The   O N E  

You   G  I  V  E

with all of the trimmings

not optional–

ever again—

b u t

S       T       A       N       D       A       R       D

with the more-than-usual exception

that’ll  you’ll  exceed

e x p e c t a t i o n s

for everyone else’s sake.       .       .

Y          U          M !

Go  ahead–

Dish up another Serving.     .     .

O     U     T          t   h   a   n   k

everyone    you    know.           .           .

don’t   even   make   it

c     l     o      s      e  !

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