HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR DAY
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . .
We don’t quite say that the way that we do
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
HAPPY NEW YEAR
HAPPY HANUKKAH
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY
HAPPY EASTER
huh. . .

Like most Monday morning blogs this is not a video that I researched or that I sought out, it is one that found me and now haunts me. As I listen to this video from Martin Luther King Jr. about the Good Samaritan, which was a part of his I HAVE BEEN TO THE MOUNTAIN TOP speech, I quickly realized that not only am I not the Good Samaritan, I am not even close to being the not-so-Good-Samaritan.

Quick: if you could describe your life to this point in just one single word what would it be?  Seriously, mine might be ENCHANTED. I live a ENCHANTED LIFE; I really do. I am a severely white privileged male that has never really felt what racism is all about; or poverty; or disadvantage; or choice of sexual orientation, or. . . . Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve worked hard for everything that I’ve gotten and I’ve tried to do right by another person, not just by treating them the way that I want to be treated but really trying to go the extra step past the Mountain Top and finding out how they would like to be treated and then actually treating them that way. I have never joined a demonstration. I have never participated in a March. I have never protested. I would like to believe that part of me being a Caring Catalyst and trying to be a better One each day, is trying to convince myself that person by person the world itself changes and that I have an active part in participating in that every single encounter that I have with every single person.

No, I’m not a Good Samaritan. I’m the guy that is too busy to stop because I have business to do; important business, maybe even business that affects peoples lives. No, I’m not a Good Samaritan not because I don’t stop and help, or because I’m sometimes afraid I may to become that victim I too, may be misunderstood or harshly judged.  No, but possibly because I have a great way of RATIONALIZING everything away so that I can feel just a little bit better about myself (one-not-that-all-important-act-but-makes-me-look-good-without-trying-all-that-hard. . . .

I don’t do good with vacations or paid time off, so every year I rarely take a week or two weeks off at a time. I’m better at taking days off especially Friday and Mondays. I, on purpose, take my birthday off. I take my wife, Erin’s, Birthday off. I take off good Friday every year usually the Monday after Easter and yes now Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I usually take these days off to spend them with people that I love and people who love me. In particular, I take off Martin Luther King Jr. Day, just like Good Friday, to reflect, to ask myself, ‘why am I not the not-so-Good Samaritan; why am I the one that would go to the other side of the road; why am I the one, that being as privileged as I am, would make myself feel better by literally, just writing a check and mailing it in? Tough questions, but not always elicit the most honest answers. Somehow, just asking the questions helps, eases me as it inspires, challenges me not by attempting to answering the questions with my words or my mouth, but with my actions. Hoping, just hoping, that what I might do for ANOTHER, personally, intentionally, and yes maybe even, intimately, will not only be world changing for them but also mean the universe to me, too.

HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. DAY
. . .today. . .tomorrow. . .for-an-ever
let’s not pass each other by
but attend to each’s wounds
and heal as we are healed
no matter what
no matter who
no matter when
no matter how
NOW
to get one step higher than
THE MOUNTAIN TOP

Ways to Protect Your Emotional Health Post-COVID

You don’t need to pick up exactly where you left off. Use these tips to reflect on how you want your life to look.  . .
but after two days of 660
and 744 new cases
r e s p e c t i v e l y
(in OHIO)
it’s bringing lots of
EXCLAMATION POINTS
and
QUESTION MARKS

that BETHANY TEACHMAN has brought up in a recent article she has published in THE CONVERSATION and GREATER GOOD MAGAZINE

You’ve been waiting…and waiting…and waiting for this amazing, magical day when you could return to “normal life.” and then we start hearing about new strains of COVID19 and elevated cases in different parts of the United States which makes us all do a collective
Y I K E S

For many people in the U.S., it feels like that dim light at the end of the pandemic tunnel is becoming brighter. In Ohio we have over 45% of the people vaccinated and just when we start feeling a little safe, we see the NEW DATA. We are all beginning to think, TO LIVE like our lives are returning back to normal; and the very thought shouts the question:
JUST WHAT IS NORMAL?

But what should those of us fortunate enough to be vaccinated return to? I didn’t exactly feel euphoric each day in my normal life pre-COVID-19. How should you choose what to rebuild, what to leave behind, and what new paths to try for the first time? Clinical psychological science provides some helpful clues for how to chart your course out of pandemic life.

Set realistic expectations

You are less likely to be disappointed if you set reasonable expectations.

For instance, you’ll likely feel some anxiety as you try to figure out what’s OK to do and what’s still risky. Even as the risk level has declined in many places, there is still uncertainty and unpredictability tied to the current coronavirus risks, and it’s natural to feel anxious or ambivalent when letting go of an established habit, like wearing masks. So, be ready for some anxiety and realize it doesn’t mean something is wrong—it’s a natural reaction to a very unnatural situation.

It’s also likely that many social interactions will feel a little awkward at first. Most Americans are out of practice socializing, and repeated practice is what helps us feel comfortable.

Even if your social skills were at their peak, the current moment serves up a lot to navigate interpersonally. Chances are you won’t always agree with the people in your life on where to draw the lines about what’s safe and what’s not. There are going to be some complicated summer parties to navigate given many families have some members vaccinated and some not. That will be frustrating after waiting so long to finally get together.

And you won’t automatically have warm, fuzzy feelings about all your colleagues, family, friends, and neighbors. Many of those little annoyances that cropped up in your interactions before you ever heard of COVID-19 will still be there.

So, expect some awkwardness, frustration, and annoyance—everyone’s creating new patterns and adjusting to changed relationships. This should all get easier with time and practice, but having realistic expectations can make the transition smoother.

Live your values

To help plan which activities and relationships to put time into, think about your priorities.

Living in ways that are consistent with your values can promote well-being and reduce anxiety and depression. Many therapeutic exercises are designed to help reduce the discrepancy between your stated values and the choices you make day to day.

Imagine you are asked to carve a pie to illustrate your different roles and how important each is to the way you feel about yourself and the values you prioritize. You might value your roles as a mother, a spouse, and a friend most highly, assigning them the biggest pieces of your pie.

What she values most about herself. Thinking about your priorities is the first step toward figuring out how closely your real life aligns with them.

Now, what if you were asked to carve that pie in a way that reflects how you actually allocate your time and energy, or how you actually tend to evaluate yourself. Is the time you spend with friends much lower than its value to you? Is the tendency to judge yourself based on rigid work demands much higher?

How she really spends her time. Recognizing that your real-life choices don’t match up with what you value the most can help you identify the parts of your life that deserve a higher priority.

Of course, time is not the only meaningful metric, and all of us have periods when certain parts of our lives need to dominate—think about life as a parent of a newborn, or a student during final exams. But this process of considering your values and trying to align what you value and how you live can help guide your choices during this complex time.

Keep track

Clinical psychologists recommend engaging in activities that feel rewarding in some way to stave off negative moods. Doing things that are pleasurable, that provide a sense of accomplishment or help you meet your goals, can all feel rewarding, so this isn’t just about having fun.

For most people, some balance of fun, productive, social, active, and relaxing activities in life is key to feeling like your different needs are being met. So, try keeping track of your activities and mood for a week. See when you feel more or less happy and when you feel like you’re meeting your goals, and adjust accordingly. It will take some trial and error to find the balance of activities that provides that sense of reward.

Is this a time of growth or preservation?

There is fascinating research showing that the perception of time can influence your goals and motivation. If you feel time is waning—as often occurs for older adults or those experiencing a serious illness—you are likely to seek deeper connections with a smaller number of people. Alternatively, those who feel time is open-ended and expansive tend to seek new relationships and experiences.

As restrictions loosen, are you desperate to visit a close friend in the town you grew up in? Or more excited to travel to an exotic location and make new friends? There isn’t a right answer, but this research can help you consider your current priorities and plan that next reunion or trip accordingly.

Recognize your privilege and pay it forward

If you are vaccinated and healthy and can return to more normal activities, then you are in a fortunate group after a year of such devastating losses. As you plan how to use this time, consider the research showing that your emotional health improves when you do things to benefit others.

Being intentional about helping others is a win-win. Many people and communities are in need right now, so think about how you can contribute—be it time, money, resources, skills, or a listening ear. Asking what your community needs to recover and thrive and how you can help address those needs, as well as considering what you and your household need, can boost everyone’s well-being.

As the return to so-called normal life becomes more of a reality, don’t idealize post-pandemic life or you are bound to be disappointed. Instead, be grateful and intentional about what you choose to do with this gift of a reboot. With a little thought, you can do better than “normal.”

Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
DARE TO MAKE THAT YOU NEW
N O R M A L

What’s your most embarrassing moment?

Can you share it and not still feel embarrassed?

How many people know about this most embarrassing moment you’ve ever had?

 Who is involved in it.          .          .

Who sought out this most embarrassing incident you ever had.       .        .

 I always thought it was when I filed for bankruptcy;

 when I got a divorce;

when I got fired from a job;

when I failed a test and was called out in front of the whole 6th grade class;

 when I wasn’t able to show up more times than not to one of my kids or grandkids activities;

 when I said the wrong hurtful thing in front of a crowd

 at my student church when I had a Huge Freudian slip and directed peoples attention to the beautiful CENTERFOLD on the piano instead of the floral CENTERPIECE PIECE;

T           R           U           T           H.           .           .

When I saw this video I became embarrassed.          .           .

I became embarrassed

because I’ve had the biggest lead in my life

and I don’t know that I’ve done much with it.          .          .

or as much as I absolutely could have done

W  I  T  H    I  T;

especially when compared to others

I’ve been light years ahead because of

M  Y       P  R  I  V  I  L  E  G  E

F               A               C             T :

I can’t think of one thing

that would be more embarrassing

literally for the rest of my life:

After seeing this small clip not been different because of it or worse living differently

Y   o   u.             .             .

Are you embarrassed,

even slightly

because, like me,

you’ve gotten this tremendous head start

and not done as much as you could/would/should have.          .          .

L  I  K  E    M  E

it doesn’t make us better RACERS

It doesn’t make us more Competitive

It doesn’t make us more Hall of Fame Champions

It  just  makes  me  Embarrassed;

Even more Embarrassed

if  it  comes  across

P            R            E            A            C            H           Y

because’s there a Scripture at the end

THAT EVERY MAJOR RELIGION

and all the minor Ones 

e s p o u s e:

L O V E      O N E     A N O T H E R
I  N     W O R D,   T A L K,    I N    D E E D,   A N D     I N    T R U T H

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.          .          .

doesn’t    that     apply    to    all    of    us.       .       .

or   is   it   too

E         M         B         A         R         R         A         S         S         I         N         G

t o    a d m i t

?

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